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I would like my roommates boyfriend out of the living room now please. So I can work. There's something really nice about everyone going to bed by 11:30, or at least going to their rooms, and that is me getting the living room all night to work in. I just get really anxious whenever he's around, he's really nice, but jeezus. I want him gone. My roommate can go live at his house for all I care, they can all go,I just want the house so I CAN'T HEAR HIS STUPID MUSIC THROUGH HIS HEADPHONES.
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My roomie just finished having the loudest, longest and most satisfying sounding sex evah. So jealous. And weirded out. I just don't expect those noises out of her.

Also, my other roomie and her boyfriend are trying to set me up with said boyfriend's roommate, who I am not into. If their breath smells like the plague and they and they make the kitty gesture RAWR growl three times in five minutes, i am not interested.

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Has anyone else seen the banner ads on lj for tom cruises official site? wth is he doing? You have people to do this for you tom- imdb, fan sites, apple trailers, tabloids. This obvious self advertisement is really weird to me.

Anyways. New years resolutions... I don't know. Get off my ass. Stop eating Chocolate, as stated previously. Stop talking about movies. Leave the country.  That'll do it.

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I sneeze when I eat it. A lot.

Which means I'll either be spending loads of money on the good stuff or abstaining from chocolate completely. yeah, ha, abstain. If i wasn't already in the red, I'd be worried about going broke.

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after listening to about three hours of alternating heavy bass, high pitched harmonica and now what sounds like if humming were a competitive sport coming through my dorm wall, i wonder if it would just be nicer to live in the middle of fucking no where. i don't mind noises as long as they come and go- sirens, voices, music, anything. like a little guest appearance in my day. but this throat music shit has to stop.
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So, I'm going to my first acting class tonight. All I can say is thank god it's not taught by aaron or dad, because I am not theatre-ish enough to deal with that yet. The fact that I'm taking another class again ever is actually quite out of character since this is the person who wonders what everybody thinks about her all the time. Time to let go, I guess. At least once a week. What's nice is that dad is dropping me off and then leaving since I've banned him from ever coaching me or watching me act again. I mean, it's practically his second home, so it is really nice of him.  What his really means though is: I need my license, and how`.
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Only 6 days left in Chicago! All my favorite seniors from LACHSA have picked their colleges, and I can't help thinking they picked better than I did. Packing is  the devil. Where does all this paper come from. Also, I suggest to anyone not to work on clay projects in a dorm, as the clay dust is a bitch to sweep.

My roommate is totally high from cleaning the bathroom. We found out yesterday that nail polish remover gets paint off the tiles, but these rooms have really poor ventilation, and so we ended up having a walk and eating tons of McDonalds. Today she locks herself in the bathroom with cleaner, and the bathroom is sparkling, and she's giggling like a madman and acting nutso.

Also just ran out of liquid eyeliner. I'm saving up for some new shoes since I wore though all of them this year, but I'm sure I can spare 3 bucks for cheap liner.

Can't wait to see the Kara Walker show at the Hammer. I'm glad it's there for so long. I missed the Alison Saars show at the LA Louver. My parents went, they said it was fantastic. But the LA Louver always has good shows, I'll just see what's up when I get there.
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I didn't keep up on my account again. I don't understand, and messing up about four times should have taught me to check up on my checking more often, but  80 dollars in overage fee? when did that happen. My parents will kill me. Seriously though. Kill.

Giant project due tomorrow. Just started it. Guess who's earning her scholarship.

You know, I had never cut my own hair before, because it scared me. But I always felt like just chopping it all off. Like it needed to be gone. So I did it. And it's still not the hair of my dreams, but it's so much better than that dead birds nest I had just because I felt I fit into whatever world I was walking through, like it was what was expected of me. And maybe, even though it's frightening and nobody wants me to do it, I should leave school. Hair grows back, I can always come back. I just feel like taking scissors to my life right now.

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Listening to Spoon's earlier album Telephono as the sun rises over the Chicago skyline. Or rather, the lake. I don't have my East facing blinds open, but through the others I see dawn. Obviously didn't sleep tonight. I do this before my early classes. I know I won't wake up in time. So I don't wake up. Or rather, I don't fall asleep

Patched the holes in my pants with cotton. Now I can walk in them without my thighs bleeding. They actually don't bleed- they turn grey. Weird, right? Friction+ Skin= Grey Spots.

Watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Nearly shit myself laughing. I never liked Val Kilmer before. Ever. In anything. I just need Kilmer to abandon his current reality and become Gay Perry forever and rock my world.

This summer= tanning, losing weight, getting back to what I used to look like. Not this fat, white, alien Tiana. I was just comparing pictures of me in August and me now... it's really.... shocking. I want to go back, really.

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I don't like being here, in English Class. I need to write a scene for a script based on peoples monotonous readings aloud, monotone and brief contributions to the stilted conversation. Between breathy guesses of what the teacher wants to hear there hangs heavy silence, heavy and wet and grey, like Chicago spring mornings, like Daniel Thelewis in that movie. Even I, animate, am grey and lifeless in this room. The only three who are punctuated, who sound intelligent and confidant are the teacher and two other girls, one of whom is not confidant, but she speaks normally, unlike the rest of us zombies.

I am spending my time ignoring the conversation on Novalis until I hear an obvious Greek myth reference and then I chime in, dead and intelligent sounding.


The heart, the senses, the realms of nature, the essence of nature the return to nature, the human mind, the death of the heart the return of the heart, the transcendence of the heart, the breaking of Eros, the exhaustion of the imagination, the promises of Fable, wisdom, the eradication of wisdom, the mother, the father, immature love, pure love, mature love, rides around the run in chariots, giants, fountains, fates, the grim reaper, promises, degradation, disintegration.

I am looking at poetry online.

Sounds
    Like pearls,
Roll off your tongue
    To graze this eager ebon ear

Doubt and fear
    Ungainly things,
With blushings
        Disappear.
I used to read Maya Angeleou’s poetry every free reading session in 6th or seventh grade. I don’t remember which.

There is one I love more than this, but I can not remember.
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